You wouldn't recognize the girl in the above photo right away, but yes, that is me. I am not sure exactly when this was taken, but I really want to say sometime around 2005. I was over-weight, (I weighed around 165) and extremely unhappy with almost every aspect of my life. I was working at Mc Donald's, a job I hated and would stress me out so much to the point where I would hide in the bathroom and cry. This photo was taken right after my Grandpa had passed away, and the last time I had seen my Grandpa was that Easter. My dad drove both him and my Grandma up to my work to say hi to me before they went home because I could not get the day off so I worked all day instead of visiting with my family, and it was the last time I saw him. I couldn't quit my job because the only thing I had going for myself was my own apartment with Kyle. No job=no rent money. I hid myself in baggy jeans, I never wore shorts or skirts, and I never, ever went to the beach. I wore black a lot, and since we were broke, I ate most of my meals at work. At home, we ate a lot of mac & cheese and take-out because I didn't know how to cook .
Things turned around a little in 2006-2007. I finally quit Mc Donald's and got a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I also got a YMCA membership with Kyle and managed to lose a little of the weight. I started wearing hoodies form Victoria's secret because they covered me up but still felt "nicer" than the plain black ones. After six months, I got my current job at Vesco Oil. I stayed at 155 or so for a few years, still hiding in my hoodies. In 2008, my work held a wellness program where each member would weigh-in weekly on a scale. Whoever lost the most weight, won money at the end of the program, which lasted about 12 weeks. I had a goal of ten pounds, but I managed to lose twenty, putting me at 135. In 2009 I signed up again and lost another ten pounds. When I graduated from OCC, I weighed 120 pounds, pretty much what I looked like in the pictures below:
How did I do this? I became obsessed. I walked everywhere, I cooked healthy dinners, when I ate alone, it was salads & subway. I would walk a five-mile route 3-4 times a week. I did workout videos when it was too cold or rainy and I would do them before Kyle got home because I hated working out in front of people (still do). I kept it off for awhile, Louie's arrival in our lives helped with that because living in the apartment, I walked him at least twice a day if not more.
So what is my issue now? I have a gym membership, I still have Louie, where is my motivation? I had only two classes back in 2009, I have no school now. Granted, I do have a big house that takes a lot of time to clean, and I do have a blog...my best friend was living out of state so I barely hung-out with anyone, but still.
I see friends almost every weekend, and it is healthy. However I realize that I need to get back in shape, and in order to do that, I need to get that same, self-driven attitude back. No more going out on Friday nights for awhile (I am super broke anyway), and I need to move every day again. Everything from going crazy cleaning, to walking Louie, to going to the gym. I have been really good at eating healthier-and I do feel a lot better. I did not have a blog to take up 1-2 hours of my night back in early 2009, but I did spend hours online. I looked up everything from healthy & fit celebs, new workout routines, healthy meals and even songs to add to my workout play-list.
I have even thought of quitting outfit photos until I lost the weight, but I don't want to do that. Taking away something that I enjoy feels like punishment, not encouragement. So, I have decided to add some motivation to this blog. I want to do a few posts on things that make me feel good, that push me and make me want to look my best. I am hoping this kicks my butt into gear, and will prevent me from posting nothing but food posts every single week ;)
Song of the day "Pocket Philosopher" By Mandy Moore