Thursday, September 24, 2015

Warm Morning In July

I wrote this little blurb out and posted it on Facebook back in July, and although I never bothered to edit it, I thought I would share it on the blog.  I never gave it a title, and I don't really have any further plans for it, but since this blog is a scrap-book of sorts, I feel that it is okay to add this little writing exercise in. I wrote this on a humid Saturday morning at work when I was supposed to be catching up, but for some reason could not stop narrating everything that I was doing that day. I was training myself to be more appreciative of the present, and this was the result. 

Warm Morning In July

It’s barely 7 am and the warm air in the warehouse has seeped through into the office. Still, I sip from my steaming mug of coffee, a small but much needed comfort as I continue the mindless task of entering driver logs so early on a Saturday when I would normally be sleeping in. The soft denim of my overalls are a warm hug on my legs, and despite the heat, I am grateful for these small comforts. Hot coffee, soft jeans, and enormous pink headphones to drown out the sound of the hi-lows and fill my mind with music videos that were never made.
On days like this I tend to be more selective with my music choices, and The Relationship is soothing. Brian Bell tells me that he sees beauty in the things I do wrong, and I wonder if he has ever covered Elvis Costello. “Radio Sweetheart”.
Popping the headphones off, I take a quick walk to the garage to pick up more logs. The large, old fan dangling from the ceiling blows warm air around, and causes the fine strands of hair on my head to tingle along my scalp. On my way back to the office, I see my comrades for the morning going about their business. Paul is enamored in a text message, clicking away almost-frantically, the hi-lo beside him on idle. Mark is rubbing the sleep from his eyes and headed towards the lunchroom with an empty coffee mug, neither of them taking notice of me. My converse are quiet against the warehouse floor as I walk away, and I wonder if this is what a super power feels like. I am in this moment, invisible.
Back at my desk, the air in the office is getting warmer. I top off my coffee, and the stack of logs is daunting, but I don’t mind. For the very first time in weeks, I don’t think of what I have to do later today. Faces of loved ones flicker across my mind, and for once I don’t wonder when I’ll see them next. This is a practice of living in the present, a difficult feat for an anxiety-ridden female who dwells on the mistakes of her past, and the uncertainty of her future. I am slowly acknowledging that living in the present is too like a super power, as I become hyper-aware of my surroundings. The clapping noise as a pallet hits the warehouse floor, the growls escaping the coffee pot beside the printer, the soft hum of my mini desk fan, and the scent of sweet pea of the lotion on my hands whisking up my nose as I push the bridge of my glasses back into place with my index finger.
I search my mind to placate what I am actually feeling in this moment, and it is an unexpected blanket of contentment. Hot coffee, warm jeans, and yet I feel almost intangible. Super powers. Simple things, boring things, are what my life is made up of in these quiet moments of self-awareness, and they are much appreciated for once.
I place my headphones back on, they cushion my ears as the Decemberists truly convince me to not carry it all.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Everything Has Changed


A lot has changed since these photos were taken on a 90 degree day back in July: Summer is all but gone, my bangs are no longer mint green, I've lost about six pounds due to stress, I've gained a core group of friends that I will forever be thankful for, and I moved back home. It is very surreal being in the same room I once lived in at the age of 10, and then again at 18 when I dropped out of Eastern Michigan University. It almost feels the same; I am broke, I crash with friends on weekends so that I don't have to be home, and I am overdosing on coffee. The truth about shitty situations in life? Time. It sounds like a lie, but time will help, it will fix your head, and your heart, just not all at once. It's all a bit wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey ;)


Since this is a new chapter in my life, I thought that a new blog title was in order. I cannot live without coffee, and I can't seem to go a week without being a Party Cat, so Cat Ears & Coffee it is! I am not entirely sure if much will change around the blog, it has always been a hodge podge of outfit photos, DIYs, life-stuff, foodie posts, and local happenings, and I plan on keeping it that way. The best way for me to wade through this mess in my life right now is to keep busy, so the blog has been put on the back-burn for a bit. I have lots of posts planned out in my crazy, cat-lady brain, so I am hoping to make them happen as the weeks go by, so, stay tuned for less depressing posts!


Top & Shorts-Amazon
Shoes & Purse-Thrifted
Floral Cat Ears- Forever 21

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Little Bits: July & August On Instagram


I have mentally wrote out this post at least a dozen or so times in the past week, but it doesn't make sitting down and actually doing it any easier. To be blatantly honest, I have been going through some personal issues for the past month or so, and blogging has been too hard. A lot of things have been too hard. Blogging has always been an outlet for me, conversational as it is. However, how does one keep up with a lifestyle blog when her life becomes too difficult to talk about? It is something everyone with a social media account (aka EVERYONE) has to come to terms with time-to-time. When something good happens to us, we are only too excited to share and talk about it. When something bad happens, we tend to get hesitant. I'll always be the first one to poke fun at myself to make light of the situation, but there are occasions when the situation is too tender to begin to know how to deal. 

In the past month, I have handled things terribly. I panicked, again, and again. I left work  early several times and am now more behind than ever. I cried at my desk, in the bathroom, to my parents, to my friends. I expected too much from the wrong person and drove them away. I found the right people to talk to, and am more thankful than I can ever imagine. I am lucky enough to have friends reach out to me, and be there for me, even when I wasn't ready to talk. Because it is too hard to talk about, I will leave off with some fun memories from the past two months:

-A busy, but fun 4th of July weekend was had.
-Two incredible camping trips happened in July, with two amazing groups of people. I don't know how my tiny car will haul one, but this Party Cat would like a kayak!
-Work has been busier than ever. Why is this good? Because keeping busy keeps my mind busy.
-I had a blast on a little trip out to Trout Lake with my amazing friend Dani and a her friends. Caught a nice sunset, and had a great time.
-I may have summered the hell out this summer, but I am a fall-ball to the fullest. Bring on the pumpkin spice lattes! ;)

I have every intention of continuing this blog, but like a lot of things in my life right now, it will have to be a slow process. In the meantime, onto the next adventure!


Sunday, July 12, 2015

A Room Of One's Own


"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." -Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

I never realized how much I completely missed having a door on my room, until I no longer had one. The way the house is set up, the upstairs is the bedroom, but there isn't a door because it would be awkward at the bottom of the staircase and would crowd the hallway. Without a door, the sounds from the rest of the house carry upstairs. I can plug my laptop in the kitchen, hook up speakers, and blast Best Coast and be able to hear Bethany Cosentino's melodic voice throughout the entire house. From the foot of the bed, I can hear Kyle cracking a beer in the kitchen, I can hear Liam digging through the drawers in the library, I can hear the guys watching the Tiger's game on TV (and also arguing with each other about sports things), I can hear Mariah's phone getting a text message, and of course the asshole dogs barking at everything, always, because asshole dogs.

Doors don't just help keep the noises of daily life a bit quieter, they also are barrier to keep the room shut off from the rest of the world, at least for a little while. Back in the old apartment, most of the blogging, or reading I did was in the office. The office was a bit of a garbage pit, but, because it could be so easily closed off, everyone forgot about it. Now? I have Kyle barging up the stairs to get pajamas, the dogs jumping in my lap, and Liam trying to steal my Ipod charger.

I live in a noisy, restless environment, and most of the time I really enjoy it. There is something annoyingly comforting about coming home and not knowing if the house is going to be empty, or full of people. To open the fridge and find questionable leftovers that are not mine, to discover seemingly endless amounts of beer stashed all over, or to be just getting out of the shower and finding Mark getting the firepit going in the backyard. This amount of exposure to others would have clawed at the inside of my mind two years ago, but now it is almost endearing. I appreciate how much I have been able to let go of so much of my control freak tendencies, and be more open and accepting to the world around me, instead of constantly being disappointed in how things don't go my way.

However, I still need space. I need a few hours of alone time to edit, and prep blog posts. To sit and read comic books, to get dressed without someone barging in the room, and to occasionally get a good night's rest (because listening to someone else's alarm go off three times before 4 am, due to their 5 am shift is loads of fun, I am telling you!). Though I do not have money to spare, or any fictional short stories buzzing around my mind currently, a room of one's own is much appreciated. Even for a few moments of updating a conversational personal blog.

room8 room5
Room3 room2
room10 room7

*Edit: I might have to share this room on occasion.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Absotively Posilutely

While texting Hassaun this morning (shooting the shit, like you do), I told him that after the hormonal roller-coaster that was last week, I am kicking this week in the ass. He then responded with "So, you are going all Fight Club on this week?" yes, yes I am. I have been feeling slightly overwhelmed lately, and it is all my own doing. Planning parties two weeks in a row, a trip out to Ypsi to see a band, trying to hit the gym, taking care of the house, tackling all of the projects, while trying desperately to get caught up at work. This is what happens when you are an overachieving idealist, you never sleep. So! This week I decided to tap my inner Rory Gilmore and make a bunch of lists, then started to work at them. I have piles of things to get through, messes to clean, and loads of ideas to put into action, and I have no idea when/if I will ever cross off everything on these lists, but I am choc full of coffee and feeling ambitious. 

Lately I have been trying to stay in the mindset of looking at the positive aspects in life, instead of dwelling on the negative. Let me tell you, that shit is hard. It is so easy to tell someone else to do it, but there are days when after a few things don't go as planned and it is all I can do to keep from bawling my eyes out (cue raccoon-faced Sara, because lets be honest, I cry. A lot). Some days. weeks, months, will always go better than others, but just because one month is crap, it doesn't take away how amazing a past one was. Forgetting about the good times just makes things dour, and that is bad new bears. 

For instance, lets take a look at this outfit: I may have worn this stupid shirt for the past three Fourth of Julys, but it still holds up. I may have been ten pounds lighter the last time I wore shorts this short in public, but these are cute shorts. My legs look like I was playing hours of softball before these photos were taken, but bruises are just proof that I like to play outside! Okay, they are just proof that I am anemic, but whatever. I have no idea why I am making such derpy faces in these pics, but my hair stayed curled all damn day for once! #KeepItOnTheUP

Also! Purple hair  + a harness make me feel like I look like a superhero. And sometimes, you just gotta be your own hero. 

Shirt, & shoes-Thrifted
Sunglasses-Forever 21

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Party Cats Prom!


So this one time, The Party Cats threw a prom! Why? Because themed parties are fuuuuun, and, two out of three Party Cats never made it to prom, so of course we had to throw our own! Duh!

We originally were going to have prom outside with a bonfire and all sorts of cool stuff, but because we live in Michigan, it decided to be cold and rain all damn day. So! At the last minute, we transformed the basement into prom! We even had our own theme: Intergalactic love! Jen and Mariah made awesome decorations. We had creepy-cut outs for photos, we hauled the arch inside for prom-style photos, we had glitter EVERYWHERE, balloons, space water guns, sparkly dresses, stars, paper lantern "planets", our own playlist that we created, jello shots, a jet pack (thanks, Alice!) oh, and loads of booze. Like, so much booze that I *may* have consumed a crap load and forgot to take photos of about half the other guests at the party. Whoops.

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun! The Party Cats have a bunch of cool things planned out, and I can't wait to get started on all of them! Until then, happy Tuesday!

Prom10 Prom Prom4 Prom5 Prom3 Prom6 Prom7 Prom13 Prom8 Prom15 Prom11 Prom14